It’s been 5 months since I was running regularly. I went from 3 days a week down to nothing in a blink of an eye when I came up lame with plantar fasciitis.
Ugh… My right heel has been the bane of my existence since that fateful jog when I felt the pull and suddenly I could barely walk.
In the interim I’ve been lacking in the fitness department. I’d do a workout here or there, signed up with a new gym And I didn’t think much of it, I figured I was too busy or even just straight up lazy. Then I realized that I had a bigger problem.
I was feeling very down and putting off a lot of what I used to love to do. I wasn’t cooking or baking nearly as much. I didn’t feel like swimming at all this summer and working out? Pfftttt…..yeah right. I did everything to NOT workout. And yet, while all the signs were there, I wasn’t acknowledging the emotional side of this injury.
The reality is that in a split second you can go from running fine to sidelined. And when that happens, there are a lot of emotions that surface. And if you don’t deal with them, they can get the better of you. Take me, for instance. I was doing fine, about to up my mileage on the weekend when BAM! I get hurt. Hurt to the point that I limped for a while and saw my doctor about the injury. I changed my shoes and bought inserts for my heels. And I stopped doing what I loved. I stopped running.
Along with the anger and frustration of having an injury, there was also a feeling of panic. Would I be able to run again? Or would this issue plague me from here on out? The thought that I wouldn’t be able to run another race or that I wouldn’t be able to consider a half marathon EVER was devastating to me. And certain exercises were off-limits because I didn’t want to make matter worse.
So what did I do? I got depressed and stopped giving a fuck.
I didn’t log any food. I’d try a workout routine for a few days and then I’d promptly give. I complained a lot. And I gained back the majority of the weight I had worked so hard to lose in the first place. I was up 17 lbs from last summer’s lowest.
Of course, feeling the weight pack on and noticing that my pants were tighter didn’t help. Instead it fueled me to care less. But I could tell it was starting to affect my home life. My mood was making me difficult to be around. I was like a little black cloud of negativity. Every other word out of my mouth when speaking about myself was negative.
I had hit rock bottom. And try as I had to hold onto SOMETHING during this down time, I ended up just letting go and giving up.
That’s probably what saved me. I gave up entirely to see that what I had wasn’t working. None of my past routines fit and I was no longer pleased with my workout schedule. So I had to trash it all and start fresh.
As of today I’ve been to the gym three times this week. I’ve started cooking again and I’m logging on MyFitnessPal.
I had to be honest with myself that I’m not where I was a year ago let alone 5 months ago. And that I would have to start all over again. Does this suck? Yes, but I had to let it go and just start moving forward.
I couldn’t start just running 3 miles a day and figure I’d fall back into place. I needed to start slow and steady. So I began with my food and then started a workout routine in the morning.
Then yesterday, on my way to my son’s soccer practice, I decided to walk there instead of drive. It’s a little under a mile away so I figured it would help me earn my 10,000 steps and I would get a good walk in. As I started off I realized I was bored and just wanted to get there sooner. So I started to trot. Then I picked up the pace and did a light jog. Soon, I was jogging while a few walking breaks thrown in as a reminder that I needed to take it slow.
What started as a walk turned into a jog. And I made sure I didn’t over do it. I didn’t want to strain my heel or any other body part that was no longer used to running. So I took it easy, breaking up my walk with a stretch of running. I gaged my pain level and was stoked to find I had no pain whatsoever. A small part of me wanted to just break out and sprint with joy but I restrained myself and kept my pace low.
I must say, though, that it felt great to run again. And I ended up with little to no pain in my foot. I was so excited by this! Could it be the end of my issues? No, no. I have to think about it like it’s still an issue so that I’ll treat it delicately and not reinjure it. Nothing would piss me off more than if I was to reinjure my foot after it had finally started to heal.
So am I cured? Not by a long shot. I need to take it easy and slowly make my way back into running. No 3 milers, no trails. Nothing big. Just keeping it simple while my foot adjusts to running again. Plus it’s time for new shoes and that’s what caused the problem in the first place so I’ll make sure I have shoes to accommodate my inserts and without a low profile.
Crossing fingers this is it…